Grace

You Are For Me

2009-04-02T21:09:00.000-07:00

So faithful, so constant and so true

So powerful in all You do

You fill me, You see me

You know my every move

You love for me to sing to You

I know that You are for me, I know that You are for me

I know that You will never forsake me in my weakness

And I know that You have come now even if to write upon my heart

To remind me who You are

So patient, so gracious, so merciful and true

So wonderful in all You do

You fill me, You see me

You know my every move

You love for me to sing to You

Lord, I know that You are for me, I know that You are for me

I know that You will never forsake me in my weakness

And I know that You have come now even if to write upon my heart

To remind me

Lord, I know that You are for me, I now that You are for me

I know that You will never forsake me in my weakness

And I know that You have come now even if to write upon my heart

To remind me who You are

To remind me

- Kari Jobe

Mother Teresa: In her words

2009-03-01T20:43:00.000-08:00

"There is a terrible hunger for love. We all experience that in our lives - the pain, the loneliness. We must have the courage to recognize it. The poor you may have right in your own family. Find them. Love them."

"Give yourself fully to God. He will use you to accomplish great things on the condition that you believe much more in His love than in your own weakness."

"I pray that you will understand the words of Jesus, “Love one another as I have loved you.” Ask yourself “How has he loved me? Do I really love others in the same way?” Unless this love is among us, we can kill ourselves with work and it will only be work, not love. Work without love is slavery."

"Little things are indeed little, but to be faithful in little things is a great thing."

"Do not wait for leaders; do it alone, person to person."

"Speak tenderly to them. Let there be kindness in your face, in your eyes, in your smile, in the warmth of your greeting. Always have a cheerful smile. Don't only give your care, but give your heart as well."

"If you judge people, you have no time to love them. "

"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless."

"Peace begins with a smile."

"Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier."

"The most terrible poverty is loneliness and the feeling of being unloved."

"The success of love is in the loving - it is not in the result of loving. Of course it is natural in love to want the best for the other person, but whether it turns out that way or not does not determine the value of what we have done."

"We shall never know all the good that a simple smile can do."

"Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired."

A Harsh Reality

2009-02-28T11:03:00.000-08:00

"The LORD is know by His justice; the wicked are ensnared by the work of their hands."

Psalm 9:16

I remember you today, the beauty you radiate...

2009-02-21T10:51:00.000-08:00

" The lamp of the LORD searches the spirit of a man, it searches out his inmost being."

Proverbs 20:27

Blessings and Peace.

Don't Forget What Really Matters

2009-02-19T21:59:00.000-08:00

Carl was driving to work one morning when he bumped fenders with another motorist. Both cars stopped, and the woman driving the other car got out to survey the damage.

She was distraught. It was her fault, she admitted, and hers was a new car, less than two days from the showroom. She dreaded facing her husband.

Carl was sympathetic; but he had to pursue the exchange of license and registration data.

She reached into her glove compartment to retrieve the documents in an envelope.

On the first paper to tumble out, written in her husband's distinctive hand, were these words:

"In case of an accident, remember, Honey, it's you I love, not the car."

~~~

What a beautiful story...

Let that be His voice to you.

In case you have forgotten... just a little reminder:
It's you He loves.

"Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love..." Ephesians 5:1

~~~

Somehow that story reminds me of another that shows the same unconditional love...

At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them, The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus,

"Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?"

They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him. But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them,

"If anyone of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her."

Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground. At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her,

"Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?"

"No one, sir," she said.

"Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Now go and leave your life of sin." John 8:2-11

"For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him." John 3:17

~~~

"He was nothing special to look at. He could walk down this street today and not one of you would even notice him. In fact he had the kind of face you would shy away from, certain he wouldn't fit in with your crowd. But he was as gentle a man as one would ever know. He could silence detractors without ever raising his voice. He never bullied his way; never drew attention to himself nor did he ever pretend to like what vexed his soul. He was real, to the very core of his being. And at the core of that being was love."

The stranger paused and shook his head.

"Wow! Did he love!" His eyes looked far past the crowd now, seeming to peer across the depths of time not space.

"We didn't even know what love was, until we saw it in him. It was everyone, too, even those who hated him, who wouldn't extend to him the simplest of courtesies. He still cared for them, hoping somehow they would find a way out of their self-inflicted souls to recognize who stood among them."

"And with all that love, he was completely honest. Yet even when his actions or words exposed people's darkest motives, they didn't feel shamed. They felt safe with him. His words conveyed not even a hint of judgment, simply an entreaty to come to God and be freed by him. There was no one you would trust more quickly with your deepest secrets. If someone were going to catch you at your worst moments you'd want it to be him."

"He wasted no time mocking others, nor their religious trappings." He glanced at those who had just done so.

"If he had something to say to them, he'd say it and move on and you would know you'd been loved more than anyone had ever loved you before."

Here the man stopped, his eyes closed and mouth clenched as if choking back tears that would melt him in an instant if he gave in to them.

"I'm not talking about mamby-pamby sentimentalism either. He loved, really loved. It didn't matter if you were Pharisee or prostitute, disciple or blind beggar, Jew, Samaritan or Gentile. His love held itself out for any to embrace. Most did, too, when they saw him. Though so few ended up following him for those few moments his presence passed through their life, they tasted something they could never deny even years later. Somehow he seemed to know everything about you, but loved deeply all that was true about who he made you to be."

He paused and scanned the crowd. In the last couple of moments perhaps as many as 30 people had stopped to listen, their gaze firmly on the man and their mouths suspended open in bewilderment. I can record his words here, but am bereft of an adequate description of their impact. No one within earshot could deny their power or their authenticity. They rang from the very depths of this man's soul.

"And when he hung there from that filthy cross," the man's eyes looked up into the trees that towered over us, "that love still poured down--on mocker and disillusioned friend alike. As he approached the dark chamber of death, wearied by his battle with sin, there was no finer moment in all the world. His anguish became the conduit for his life to be given to you. This was no madman. This was God's Son, poured out to the last breath, so that we could live free."

- Jake Colsen

LIVE IN LOVE.

They tell the stories

2009-02-18T09:51:00.000-08:00

Trust

2009-01-14T14:27:00.000-08:00

Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him and He will do this:

He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn,

the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.

Psalm 37:5-6

Trust and rest when all around thee

puts thy faith to sorest test;

Let no fear or foe confound thee,

wait for God and trust and rest.

Trust and rest with heart abiding,

like a birling in its nest,

Underneath His feathers hiding,

fold thy wings and trust and rest.

The Rock that is Higher than I

2009-01-10T17:25:00.000-08:00

O sometimes how long seems the day,

and someetimes how weary my feet;

But toiling in life's dusty way,

the Rock's blessed shadow how sweet!

O then to the Rock let me fly, to the Rock that is higher than I.

O near to the Rock let me keep

if blessings or sorrows prevail,

or climbing the mountain way steep,

or walking the shadowy vail.

O then to the Rock let me fly, to the Rock that is higher than I.

- Erastus Johnson

2008-12-21T22:33:00.000-08:00

Dear Readers,

Will you forgive me? I completely left you hanging somewhere back in October! I'll have to say life was a whirlwind of change and constant activity while in Cambodia and as much as I desired to keep up on my blog... well, we can all see that it just didn't happen. My limited time at the internet cafe was spent responding to emails.

I want to say a huge THANK YOU to everyone who supported me financially to be able to do what I did these past five months. Family, friends, and lovely people from The Bridge. You sowed good seeds into my life and I pray the Lord blesses you in return!!! "Give and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap." Luke 6:38 And to everyone who prayed... I am humbled by your kindness and care. Thank you for thinking of me and heaping blessings over my life through your simple requests to our Father. I pray you can see the fruits of your prayers, because I know He heard them all.

So - I'm back. Back in the Tri-cities. Arrived on the 5th and have been adjusting ever since. Life was so different in Switzerland. And even more so in Cambodia. Both cultures so different from America. From the Tri-Cities. And both so extremely different from one another. To go from one of the wealthiest, cleanest and beautiful country - to one so in need of a massive clean up crew, medical team, moral government, parents... you name it. Shocking. To have God show you the beauty in people and relationships and the meaninglessness of all this other stuff we worry about daily. And to find such a peace and simplicity in the truth of just loving one another. Extending grace for weaknesses, failures and love for aching hearts. Why does it take being stripped away of everything you own, every false foundation you've built your life upon, everything we find our security in to realize that there is such a beauty in the people around us. Even in all their imperfections. To look at them with the eyes of God and really begin to understand. While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Why? He has eyes that see past the filth, past the sin, and into the very heart of the man He created. And He deems it Worthy of Love. "The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love." That's Real. That's our Living God. He is full of grace. "God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in him." 1 John 4:16

Coming back takes some adjusting. Life here doesn't have that same simplicity. We have all this stuff and it's just how we live. But it becomes our distractions... from the ones that matter most. God - and people.

Just a reminder to place value on the things that matter most.

We were ALL made in His image.

Take joy in those around you and try seeing them through His eyes.

Past the imperfections and straight into the man or woman that God sees when He looks at them. The very one He loves.

Adventures in Cambodia

2008-10-05T20:54:00.000-07:00

Friends,

It's been awhile! Sorry to keep you waiting on an update. This should be an interesting post... a collection of emails that I have sent people and a list that my sister friend Stephanie made of Cambodia. Enjoy :)

(Steph's list) - YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN CAMBODIA WHEN......

- The waitress is picking her nose while taking your order
- When you adjust the shower and it falls off the wall
- When your vegetables are being washed in the same bucket that the person's feet are in
- When Raid becomes your new deodorant
- When the bathroom sink falls off the wall (...it was a really lucky catch)
- When you have to ask if the meat on your plate is snake or chicken
- When your lungs have to siphon the oxygen out of the air
- When your Tuk Tuk driver doesnt care if you dont make it to your destination alive
- When Jelly Grass Drink becomes the new Coke
- When you become a little toooo regular....
- When sweat starts acting like God.... it never leaves you
- When cockroaches chase you
- When you mistake a rat for a cat
- When it takes half an hour to load your hotmail (!)
- When you run around with dogs and naked kids
- When your street smells like a urinal
- When its ok to stop and poo on the sidewalk (yes this one happened after church)
- When your shoulders and knees become 'private parts'
- When your supermarket groceries come to a figure of 290,000 (ie 70 US$)
- When your skin forgets what hot water feels like
- When you pray protection over your bed each night (from rats, cockroaches, lizards & mosquitos)
- When hand sanitizer replaces your moisturiser
- When ants swim in your cereal
- When driving up the wrong side of the road is fine
- When people wash their dishes in the mall bathrooms
- When amonium and charcoal tablets become your multi-vitamins

And this is just the first week.. :)

So more serious stuff thats been happening... We've been to an aids orphanage, it was really hard but so rewarding to be able to put a smile on those little faces and bring dancing to the lifeless bodies. We're planning to pump some money into the orphanage and buy them things to play with.

We spent a day cleaning up the streets. This was a really cool experience and made a big impact on the local neighbourhood. (I might have to show you a photo sometime so you have a concept of the amount of rubbish, scraps, poo that is all over the place). While we were doing this we came across a lady sifting through a dumpster so we bought her some groceries for her and her little son.

We did maintenance on a tiny local church here in Phnom Penh... there were a few little surprises that we're still getting used to! (rats and man-eating cockroaches). While we were there they asked us to run their service on Sunday.

We saw some of the sights a few weeks ago... the killing fields and the torture centre that was used by the Khmer Rouge during the 70s. And the temple of skulls from some of the 2 million that were brutally murdered. It was a really heavy day. We're hoping to go see Angkorwat on a day off its one of the 7 wonders of the world and only 5 hours away.

Email 1 -

We went to church this morning, I lead two worship songs while Luke played the guitar. I am hoping to have more opportunities to do this, I like it a lot! Right now we are at the mall in a nicer internet cafe. I am using my leaders laptop. This week... there is trash everywhere here, all over the streets. We didn't have any ministry set up on Thursday so we prayed about what we should do. We felt like we should walk the streets and pray and pick up the trash. In the bigger picture, the whole city is littered with trash, we walked maybe a handful of small streets. Made a very small, temporary impact... the streets we picked up would be covered with trash again within the day. I don't think that was the reason why we did it though. It was more to set an example to the people who witnessed. That we aren't any better than them, we here to help. In the afternoon we visited an Aids orphanage. We walked into a small room that had three windows with decorative bars over the windows. Small children were sitting all over the floor. I sat down next to three of them and one of them sat in my lap. I played with him for a while but I couldn't help but notice a little boy just sitting in front of motionless. staring off at the wall. I reached forward and tickled him a little bit but he didn't even respond. The two kids on my lap left and I pulled the other boy towards me and held him in my lap. He wouldn't look at me. Stood up and he laid his head on my shoulder. So sweet. We looked out the window together and I was finally able to get him to look me in the eyes. I decided to throw him in the air and when I did he burst into a smile and laughed! So I did it again and again. There were little paper animals hanging from the ceiling and I lifted him up to touch them. Long story short by the time we left he was playing on his own, smiling and happy. The transformation was beautiful. I won't forget him. We will be having bible studies with local small groups this week. I think I am going to lead one about the book Esther.

Email 2 -

We are doing bible studies with each other yesterday and today to get feedback from the group before we start tomorrow teaching Cambodian small groups. I went yesterday morning and we read the book Esther, I focused more on the verse about how Esther became a Queen for such a time as this, to save the Jews. She was a Jew who through God's favor became a Queen and in turn saved the Jews. Beautiful story of our lives... God's grace welcomes us into the royalty of the kingdom of God and He determines the time and the place in which we shall live... we aren't given this position only for our own benefit but for a greater purpose. I can't imagine the boldness and trust in God it took for Esther to go before the King and plead for the lives of her people. Very inspiring. I then shared a bit of my testimony and correlated it to the story of Esther. I think it was effective and I'm excited to share with the Cambodian people.

Yesterday afternoon it rained so hard. The streets were flooding. Some people from our team went to the store to buy things for dinner and had to take a tok-tok back because the water was up to their knees! Thunder was really loud too. Exciting!

SO... A tuk-tuk is a motorbike with a carriage type sitting thing (haha) attached to the back of it. Two benches to sit on. We are able to fit four of us on each bench and then someone else sits on the floor with their legs hanging out the back. Its fun :) The driving is so crazy here, but you don't feel unsafe because its normal! The lanes in the road really don't mean much, two lanes going different directions can become three going on way and one another, because of people trying to pass each other. No street lights at intersections, you just put yourself out their and cross in between the oncoming traffic. People stop and let you go because that's just how it is! Quite humorous :)

Email 3 -

So we started bible studies this week... it was a bit different than we all expected. The small groups weren't small groups, they were actual families and our idea of teaching in a classroom in a church was completely off. We have been doing two sessions a day one at 8 and then one at 2. We have two tuk-tuks come and pick us up and then we drive out to a family's home and sit with them in their house, give a testimony from one of us and then someone else teaches something from the bible and then they tell us their testimonies and what God is doing in their lives and we pray for them and then leave. It is so amazing! The first day was a shock. We were all expecting to pull up to a church building and go inside to teach young people but the driver stops on the side of the road next to all this trash and the rice fields in the background and tells us to get out. We all were a bit confused but we got out and the pastor was over by this shack. He motioned for us to come in. The family was sitting up on this wooden platform that had a straw mat laying across it. Flies were everywhere. I have never seen so many in my life. The family was smiling at us and then they just started to sing Khmer songs. David preached about the Law vs. Grace and rats were running around in the garbage about 10 feet from us. Welcome to Cambodia... We went to about 8 homes this week and each one was different. The first was probably the poorest. I lead the bible study on Friday afternoon and I felt like I was suppose to talk about the power of praise instead of talking about the book of Esther. So we drove out to the house of of the main roads and the road was extremely bumpy. Ruts filled with water, we were all laughing and bouncing everywhere. We got to this massive puddle/lake in the middle of the road and the driver revs the engine and floors it... we made it half way :) Two people got out and pushed the rest of the way. The bible study went great. God really gave me peace and it just felt like we were a huge family sitting down and sharing together. A Cambodian lady shared with us that she lives out in a home that gets flooded when it rains and she has to walk through the water to get to her house. She has a little girl and is pregnant as well. Her husband is having affairs and doesn't let her leave the house. Only on Fridays and Sundays to meet with her Christian friends. She sometimes doesn't have money for rice and is worried she won't have enough money for a good hospital for her baby. After church yesterday we went out to visit her. Walked through water up to almost our knees to get to her house and she cooked us a small meal. Felt so blessed. Small home with water marks on the wood where the water came up to during monsoon season. There is another team here from Kona, Hawaii that is part of the health care school and they were able to find a midwife here in Cambodia that is willing to help this woman. We told her this and she was so blessed. Her eyes would get all watery and she said, "I am so happy today, thank you, thank you." Other families we visited had prayer request that they wanted their kids to go to school but it was too expensive and they needed that money to buy food. They said school was 1000 reil a day per child. That's only 25 cents. And yet even the education system can be corrupt. Those who pay more get better grades. It is so hard to know where to start in such a corrupt, unorganized, needy country. Need is literally everywhere, just like the trash. It has been such a blessing though to build relationships with these families we are visiting and knowing that we are making an impact on their lives and encouraging them. On our way home from her house yesterday we floored it through the massive puddle again and then some random lady on the side of the path was holding two crabs. She started walking towards us and holding them out. I thought she wanted us to take a picture so I got out the camera, nope, she throws them into the tuk-tuk and stands there smiling and laughing to herself as we scream and wonder what is going on? haha. We rode the whole way home with our feet up on the seats and two crabs running around on the floor. Then our tuk-tuk stops working and 5 guys immediately swarm us seeing if they can help while another guys stood at the back saying "one dollar" and pointing at his motor bike, haha. That's the culture, if you stop people just come over and hang around to help. We have our nightly entertainment of leaning over the balcony and watching the rats run all over the alley. We bought some rat traps a few nights ago and put oreos in the middle and it was a huge event. They were huge sticky plates so when they stepped on them they would get stuck. A guy ended up trapping one in the corner. Shows how much there is to do at night when we resort to messing with the rats...

So today is our day off and I'm not sure what will happen. That's usually how it goes... We leave in a week for the life center. I might preach at a church next Sunday? God is completely stretching me!

Thanks for all your prayers and love, until next time... xoxo

LOVE YOU ALL!!!

Overwhelming Hope

2008-09-11T04:33:00.001-07:00

Our amazing staff!

Cambodia leaders are Daniel (dark blue) and Ruth (hot pink)
Capture the flag (couple weeks ago)

Close-up of the mud...

YWAM baby :)
Love Feast for the April Quarter Korean DTS

All the money came in for outreach!!! Thank you God :)

We leave next Saturday!

Some things I read this week in a book called Hope in the Dark:

"We know that Americans pity Africans," he told me. "But sometimes Africans pity Americans."
"How so?" I asked him.
"Americans seem to expect that everything will be provided for them. For us," he said, "this ear of corn is a gift from God. This evening's rain is a shower of mercy upon us. This healthy breath is life-giving. And, maybe tomorrow we will not have such things, but our hearts are so full from God's provision."

When she gave birth to an HIV-positive child, she named the baby "No Hope," for there was none. The mother's life was an isolated tragedy of stigma, abandonment, and fear. But her community began to shower love instead of judgement, support instead of neglect... and everything changed. Glimpses of grace entered into the darkness of pain, and hope made itself present. She has changed the name of her child to "Jesus is my Hope."

Everbody smiles in the same language. And for that, I am so thankful.

We walked along the dirt road to Muungano village where these words rested quietly on the brick wall next to a pharmacy shop. "What does Piny Pek mean?" I asked. "Heavy world," they said. As I dragged my feet along the gravel with my head down, I found myself asking, "Why God?" He told me, "Broken world, Daughter. Sin is real. Know and repent of your own, and then seek Justice and Love for My children. Do not lose hope, My child. Be an agent of mercy." ANd I slowly breathed in the stench, but allowed hope and God's promises of mercy and healing to remain. This peace that lies within me is one of eternal pain but surpassing faith in God's ultimate desire to shower mercy in the heaviest and most broken places.

If you want to know the pulse and strength of Africa, spend a day with the women of a village. In the midst of deep suffering, domestic abuse, societal and poverty constraints, the woman are the stability of Africa. They will carry the buckets upon their heads, touch the wounds of the sick, accept the burdens of helping the village survive - and all the while, they will be singing praises to God.

People ask me, "Doesn't it paralyze you to walk so closely and intimately with suffering?"

"No," I tell them. "If I have learned anything from my time in Africa, it's that though the suffering is overwhelming, so too is the hope."

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Romans 15:13

Something changed...

2008-09-08T12:57:00.001-07:00

Something changed inside me broke wide open all spilled out
Till I had no doubt that something changed

Never would have believed it till I felt it in my own heart
In the deepest part the healing came

And I cannot make it
And I cannot fake it
And I can't afford it
But it's mine

Something so amazing in a heart so dark and dim
When a wall falls down and the light comes in

And I cannot make it
And I cannot fake it
And I can't afford it
But it's mine

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSdP6PqsbJY

(Little side note: The 11,000 dollar need God has been faithfully providing for and we have seen it go down to only a 3,000 dollar need for outreach!! Praise God, if you want to help support feel free to contact me.)

Sunday Thoughts

2008-08-31T03:14:00.001-07:00

Dear friends,

It's a little windy today, but sunny and filled with joy all the same.

Last night we played capture the flag in the forest and it was the most exciting/scary game I have played in my life. We smeared mud all over ourself and wore black clothes. It was almost dark and everyone was sneaking around through the thick of the forest trying to get the other teams flag or free the people in jail without being captured by that team. Three other people and I started out together and then two were captured, so me and the other girl crawled through the trees to save them and we were only 10 feet away when she was spotted and a giant of a boy chased her down and captured her. I was hiding behind a stump and I barely saw a black figure poking their head out from behind a tree and look my way. Fight or flight. So I booked it so fast, I had no idea where I was going and could barely see. I ended up running into a pile of twigs, surrounded by pokey plants and had to assess the situation a bit. Long story short. If you want an adrenaline rush, this is a great game to play. No one ended up winning because it was nearly impossible to sneak up on the flag, but a guy from our team was able to free half of our team from jail. I'll post some pictures from this soon. :)

This morning I had a reality check moment. We leave in 20 days. That's so soon! Our leaders were able to find really good flights and so they booked them this week, praise God! We will be flying out from Geneva to Vienna to Bangkok to Cambodia. I don't know what to think sometimes, a part of me knows it won't seem real until I am actually there in Cambodia. We have been having more team meetings lately and they make me so excited for what's to come. The dynamics in the group are so good and it just feels really right. God knows what He's doing ;). We will be doing ministry in Phenom Penh, Battombang, and some of the provinces as well. Our visas only last for 30 days so we will have to leave Cambodia and stay in Thailand for a few days while they are renewed.

Prayer requests:

Unity among the team, vulnerabilty and love for one another
Wisdom and discernment for our leaders, Ruth and Daniel
Protection for the team
Health
To accomplish all that He has for us to do
Have God's heart for the people
To believe and trust in Him

The DTS as a whole still have people who are in need of finances for outreach we are believing God will provide for them. In total we have a need of almost 11,000 dollars. This may seem huge to you but to God it's not! Being here I have heard so many amazing stories of how God has provided for people, of how faithful He is.

"Therefore I tell you do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" Matthew 6:25-27

Your prayers in this area are much appreciated! This is when faith in God becomes real, He really is our provider. Our needs give Him a chance to show us just how much this is true, just how much He loves and values us!

This week we learned about the Father's heart and just how much He loves us. We hear it so often, Jesus loves you, and we forget the power and truth behind those words. He really does. In such a vast and intimate way... and He reveals His love through His word, through creation, through the people around us, through those little moments that fill our hearts with joy.

His word says that, "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows."

He gives because He loves.

Another thing that changed my heart: our teacher spoke on how Jesus came to reveal the Father. How He only did what He saw the Father doing, He only spoke what He heard the Father speaking. Everything that Jesus is came from the Father. This truth is restoring my image of the Father.

He is who He says He is.

He does not change.

I love this scripture... "They refused to listen and failed to remember the miracles you performed among them. They became stiff-necked and in their rebellion appointed a leader in order to return to their slavery. But you are a forgiving God, gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love. Therefore you did not desert them..." Nehemiah 9:17

"This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him." 1 John 4:9

He came
"to open eyes that are blind, to free captives from prison and to release from the dungeon those who sit in darkness."

If you don't see, know or understand His love for you ask Him to open your eyes. Growing in His love for you is a lifetime process. Those that are hungry to know Him and His love will know it!

"Blessed are you who hunger now, for you will be satisfied." Luke 6:21

"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:13

I pray that He will create a hunger in you to know Him more. To walk in relationship with Him in your everyday. Be blessed today :)

Almost September?

2008-08-22T12:25:00.000-07:00

Last week we went on a 400 K bike ride! We took the train to Romanshorn and then from there biked five days back to Switzerland. The first night we stayed on a farm and slept in the barn where the cows normally stay. It smelled a bit, natural? :) Then we had bread, cheese, and coffee for breakfast. The next night we stayed in a church basement and then woke up to a rainy day. We rode about 50 K and then realized we were extremely lost... we called out leader and told her where we were and she said, "You're where?" We were so far off the trail in some random city that she didn't even believe us. We ended up taking a train with our bikes to the place everyone was suppose to meet for lunch. Then from there we rode in the pouring rain to a Christian retreat center and ate amazing food!! After that we stayed at another YWAM base the next night and then in a church the last night. Our leaders surprised us on the last night and took us to a pool/spa. After five days of biking - wonderful!

This week we learned about missions and worldview. So interesting! We talked about the biblical views on education, government, etc. Gods ways are always so good!

Four weeks until we leave for Cambodia... September 19th. Our team met together on Monday and our leader wrote 10 ministry options on the board. We all prayed and felt drawn towards working with the orphans, those dealing with HIV/aids, and prison ministries. On our bike trip we met a woman at the other YWAM base who had lived in Cambodia for five and a half years. She gave us alot of practical information about their culture, history and background. It is really hard to grasp the reality that I am going there. It will be such an eye opening experience.

I wish I had more time to write about the things I am learning, there's so much! Thank you for your prayers - they are effective! I love you all :)

GUESS WHAT???

2008-08-05T13:40:00.000-07:00

We found out our outreach teams about an hour ago...

I'm going to CAMBODIA!!!

It feels like a dream. It is so amazing to see how God hand picked the team! Everyone went to God and recieved His direction on where they were to go, Brazil or Cambodia, and it worked out perfectly! God is so good. Just a testimony of His goodness: we didn't know any details about the locations or leaders of the two countries when we prayed for direction and no one could talk to each other BUT - I ended up with my one-on-one (person on staff that you meet with individually, she's amazing!) and the other leader is a guy from California who tends to remind me of Andrew, haha. AND the girl that I have connected with the most and really had some sweet times with is on my team. I feel so blessed! The other two girls on my team have been really close also!

I see such a heart of compassion in the people on our team. We watched a documentary on Cambodia tonight and I was speechless. This missionary desire in my heart is becoming a reality. I am so filled with hope and faith for what God will do through our team. Wow, what an honor! I know that this won't be easy, but I am so open to God changing and stretching me... opening my eyes and giving me His heart for the people of Cambodia.

Thanks for all your comments and encouragements, they are so special to me! Please be praying for me and my team (Ruth, Daniel, Justin, Luke, David, Jana, Hannah, Stephanie, Bethany)

Blessings of peace and joy in your hearts :)

Outreach, Love, Hike

2008-08-02T05:01:00.000-07:00

First thing: Thursday we were lead into the classroom and welcomed onboard an airplane. Pretend of course. We all sat down in the chairs that were set up like an airplane and then they had us take a paper from off the bottom of our seats. Each paper had a letter on it and we all had to put them together and figure out where we were going. We finally figured it out after about five minutes and everyone was screaming. :) We had 24 hours to pray about it and then yesterday we all revealed our decision seperately to our leader. I am so excited!

Here's the letters for the two locations...

AAAABBCDDIILMNORS

Have fun guessing! :)

~.~.~

Last weekend we went on a hike and it was beautiful!

Here are some pictures mixed in with quotes from a book called

"Fruits of the Spirit"

"Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning... but let it be the hidden man of theheart, in which is not corruptible, even the adornment of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price." 1 Peter 3:3,4

Love is patient, kind, generous, humble, courteous, unselfish, good tempered, guileless and sincere.

God is Love.

We are called to become like Him!

"Be courteous; not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing"

"We are to be thermostats, not thermometers, affecting the environment, not just reflecting it."

"Real love that is the fruit of the spirit is the love Christ showed toward mankind."

"You may give without loving, but you cannot love without giving."

"How can we have joy, peace, long-suffering, or all the others without first being saturated thoroughly with the same love Christ knew? When we learn this love and express it, there is a beauty that comes to life we never knew before."

"We love because He first loved us." 1 John 4:19

Regeneration and Sunday Beauty

2008-07-20T23:09:00.000-07:00

View from Montreux looking across Lake Geneva

Beautiful Korean Dance

Breakdancing
Looking into the Library through a hole in the door? :)
This one is for you Jessica :)

hahaha :)

Friend from Russia

Laying in a field of flowers, so peaceful!

Love you all :)

Random

2008-07-11T12:17:00.001-07:00

Quick post - here's a few pictures!

The prairie field in between the Chalet and Canaan (staff house)

The well in the back of Canaan House

Crazy Storm at Regeneration in Montreux last night - looking out across Lake Geneva. A few minutes after I took the picture the mountains across the lake disappeared and it was as if we were on the shore of an ocean instead of a lake. The thunder and lightning was pretty amazing and it was raining so hard that everyone got completly drenched :)

Blessings and Joy - Hannah

Rainy Day, Happy Birthday

2008-07-06T22:00:00.000-07:00

I know I promised to post often, but now that I am here it is hard to find the time and desire to do so! But I will try to give you pictures and updates at least once a week :)

Switzerland is so beautiful!

Yesterday we went into the city of Lausanne and walked around the crowded streets. They were filled with people and fresh fruit, vegetable, and flower stands. The people are so interesting here, anything goes! It really is quite an international city.
In my DTS we have one Canadian, three from Washington, two from Colorado, one from Tennessee, three from New Zealand, one from Australia, one from Hawaii, one from Russia, one from South Africa, one from Sweden, and one from South Korea. So as you can see, quite the cultural differences! Just a little side note, the New Zealanders are halarious.

These next two weeks the base is packed with almost two hundred people. We have teams visiting for Regeneration, a huge jazz/creative arts festival that 200,000 people come to each year in Montreux. The teams are hip-hop/jazz dance teams, performing arts, worship and ywam outreach teams. We'll be doing outreach at the festival until 11 each night, please pray for us :)

Here are some pictures for now, feel free to ask me any questions and I will answer them in my next post.

P.S. The bake sale was amazing!!!! For all who helped and supported me THANK YOU!!!
You have blessed me tremendously and I truely appreciate it!

Thanks to all who continue to pray as well, that is even more of a blessing :)

On the way to Epalinges.

The Beautiful Girls.

Birthday!!!

Taking a Picture.

View out the Skylight.

View out the window.
Outside Eating Area.
Classroom.
Me and my Australian Friend.
Snake Game.

The Gang.
Paddle Boats!!!

Stairs.

Lake Geneva.

The Chalet.

Beautiful.
Room

The city of Lausanne.

No need to say goodbye...

2008-06-29T10:00:00.000-07:00

Today's the day.

I love you all and will be posting soon after three flights and a train ride through beautiful green land. :)

Blessings and thanks to all who supported, prayed and continue to pray. You sow good seed.

Here's a glimpse on what has past...

Hmm.

2008-06-19T21:49:00.000-07:00

Jesus, teach us how to give...

Acknowledge Him

2008-06-18T17:59:00.000-07:00

What if you lived life with open hands?

Not literally of course. (Ha)

And what if ‘holding loosely to people, places and possessions’ isn’t just the word for a season but wisdom for a lifetime?

Adventure has been on my mind recently.

When I look at life as an adventure it’s a lot easier to live with open hands.
I wake up in the morning and wonder, “What story will today tell? What will He teach?”

Do this, squeeze your hands together really tight.
Picture all those things that you’re holding onto as being within your grasp…
friends, family, children, jobs, positions, titles, possessions, etc.
And realize – You’re not in control. Simple as that.

You are not in control.

He is God. We are not.
Now release those things your holding onto.
Stretch open your hands and let peace in.

Such a simple truth and yet many of our fears, pains, disappointment and worry stem from that feeling of being “out of control”.

Get use to it!

This life is an adventure, things change, people come and people go - there is a time for everything.

When we embrace the fact that He is God, and He is in control, life becomes a thrilling adventure.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.

In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."

Proverbs 3:5-6

Open your hands and trust in Him.

I promise you, He's good.

2008-06-16T18:34:00.000-07:00

Here's to you Robin, thanks for tagging me - and for the rest of you who would like to read, I hope you enjoy a little glimpse into my heart...

1. What I was doing 10 years ago:
10 years ago I was eight… in third grade with a lovely teacher named Mrs. Kelly. She was a gem. One of those teachers that I looked forward to hugging everyday as we left out the door. Then I would come home to a house full of kids (Mary’s just like home daycare) and play! I loved it! You can’t get bored with all those kids around and two crazy older brothers :)

2. My Favorite Snacks:
Carrots
Fruit
Cheese

3. 5 things on my to-do list today:
Go to the church and train Sherry!!! (she will be an amazing secretary!)
Haircut
Burlington Coat Factory (need a raincoat for Switzerland or the Himalayans????)
Gardening - totally falling in love with it! :)
That’s all

4. Things I would do if I was a millionaire:
Give, give, give until I have nothing left! – It’s His money anyways!
…and… make barren land beautiful!
Plant gardens – big, beautiful, vibrant, and alive!
There is something about creation that brings peace and healing to man’s heart… I totally want to create places for people to slow down and drink in the beauty…

5. Five Jobs I have had:
Filing medical papers at a Doctor’s office
Cleaning Houses (I really respect people who can do that for a living…)
Veterinary Center
Starbucks
Church Secretary

6. Five bad habits of mine:
I’m sure someone else would know better than me…
Borderline Neat Freak???
That’s not bad though, right? Clean is good… aw, well I guess I could loosen up a bit. :)

7. Five Places I have lived:
Born and raised in this lovely place.

8. 5 random things people don't know about me:
a. observant… most of the time I have to force myself to engage
b. I love anything Beautiful… so mesmerizing – and love to create it!!!
c. I wish I was a mysterious Indian girl with a wild horse running through prairie grass (haha – I might be quiet, but I’m wild at heart!)
d. I want to live in a community where people sit on their front porch during the day, kids play in the dirt streets, and my neighbor feels welcome to knock on my wooden screen door asking if she can borrow an egg for cookies – of course I’ll give her the egg, quite a few in fact, that is after we sit out in the garden and drink some tea…
e.I want a puppy – a man’s best friend (just think: puppy kisses, chases in the grass, ride alongs, and endless fetch in the park…… and pee on the floor, and chewed up shoes, ya I know, but the cuteness factor totally overrides all the nuisance!) A friend that’s always happy and faithful, thanks God for dogs…

9. 5 CD's I would have on a desert island:
nothing.
Just lie on my back and listen to the waves. Isn’t God’s music better than mans? Amazing…

10. People I want to get to know better:

The ones He has in mind. With all the wonderful people that have shared life with me so far, I have to believe He handpicked each and every one… makes me giddy for the future! Whose life will I be blessed to share in? How will we meet?

Ah, the beauty of this adventure.

If you would like to post answers to these questions, feel free and consider yourself tagged.

- Hannah Rose

Glorious Liberty

2008-06-13T09:00:00.000-07:00

Graduating from college today.

It's been an interesting two years.

Thanks for everything, good old Columbia Basin...

won't miss ya' one bit - mutual I'm sure :)

I just adore taking pictures of creation,

here's a few I was able to capture around campus...

The shape of this rose is just incredible! He is such an artist :)

The shadows cast by trees are so fascinating...

"For the earnest expectation of the creation eagerly waits for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it in hope; because the creation itself also will be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation groans and labors with birth pangs together until now. Not only that, but we also who have the first fruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, eagerly waiting for the adoption, the redemption of our body. For we were saved in this hope, but hope that is seen is not hope; for why does one still hope for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with perseverance."

Romans 8:19-25

But the greatest of these...

2008-06-11T09:00:00.000-07:00

"If you love only those who love you, what good is that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that."
- Jesus

Here's a snippet from a thought provoking post found here.

~~~

“God wants you to be in regular close fellowship with other believers so you can develop the skill of loving. Love cannot be learned in isolation.
You have to be around people --- irritating, imperfect, frustrating people.”

Maybe even wrong people. Not on the essentials, but perhaps not entirely right on doctrine as a whole. Could I love frustrating, arrogant, (possibly) wrong people? (And, anyways, haven’t I been all of that and more?) So we intentionally attended. Though worn out we reached out.

We (even us) learned grace.

2008-06-10T19:35:00.000-07:00

18 days until I fly...

Here's a little glimse of my future :)

You gotta love the sheep... I can't wait to take some pictures of my own!

- Blessings

He is Light

2008-06-04T21:52:00.000-07:00

I heard a story about a young women on K-love today. It was one of those stories about how an accident happens and the person ends up with a disability and yet goes on to accomplish great things in spite of it. The young women ended up painting beautiful pictures with the paint brush in her mouth. Amazing! They mentioned how in that moment it would have been easy for her to choose the road of bitterness and instead she chose to overcome and allow God to use her in her weakness.

"For my grace is sufficient for you, because my strength is made perfect in your weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

2 Corinthians 12:9

I was then prompted to look up the definition of bitterness, which lead me to a few other words. For some reason God really speaks to me profoundly through the definition of words (interesting, seeing as He is the Word).

Bitterness: acrimonious, caustic, sardonic, scornful

Caustic: severely critical or sarcastic

Scorn: to reject, refuse, or ignore with contempt or disdain

Contempt: The feeling or attitude of regarding someone or something as inferior, base, or worthless; scorn

Disdain: to think unworthy of notice, response, etc.; consider beneath oneself

Looking at my own life it is clear to see that I don't have a physical disability, God has blessed me with health and perfectly and wonderfully made bones, ligaments, cells, etc. that all work together for the glory of God.

But I had to look deeper, into my heart. I had a funny picture flash through my mind of my heart sitting in a wheelchair using its little cartoon arms to push itself around. I still need His strength so desperately within my heart. From those places within me that seem disable - He will be glorified! We have to say no to bitterness. No to pessimism. No to gloom and despair.

He is our Hope.

He is our Strength.

He is a Big, Awesome God.

and He is Able.

See now, look for yourself, your cup is not just half full - It's overflowing!

Let us Joy in His Grace and Strength!

Thank you Lord!

I will not be Moved - Natalie Grant

Bitterness has plagued my heart
Many times before
My life has been like broken glass
And I have kept the score
Of all my shattered dreams and though it seemed
That I was far too gone
My brokenness helped me to see
It's grace I'm standing on

I will stumble
I will fall down
But I will not be moved
I will make mistakes
I will face heartache
But I will not be moved
On Christ the Solid Rock I stand
All other ground is sinking sand
I will not be moved

The Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us. We have seen His glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth. John 1: 14

Amen!

2008-05-31T20:03:00.000-07:00

Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons...

Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it.

How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live!

Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness.

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. Make level paths for your feet, so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.

Hebrews 12: 7, 9-12

Hiking

2008-05-26T19:20:00.000-07:00

My family and I went hiking about 12 miles at Multnomah Falls this weekend, it is so lovely in the woods. The clouds were inbetween the trees and it misted rain during some of the hike. Pictures just don't really capture the hushed beauty and the peace.

Spring

2008-05-21T20:50:00.000-07:00

Here's some shots I took around my yard throughout spring... He is so brilliant!

"Lily of the valley, Bright and Morning Star... Fairest of ten thousand, Lord, You are. You are Holy..."

Glorious

2008-05-11T20:51:00.000-07:00

2008-04-30T08:37:00.000-07:00

"The minute we begin to understand this, that His love is not only our foundation but our life breath and the thing that carries us through, the world will open to us, and we will become what we were meant to be, without human effort and without striving."
- John Paul Jackson

You never know what is hidden inside

2008-04-25T21:18:00.000-07:00

The moment had come for the students in my creative arts class to choose their animal assignments. And Anthony was worried.

Ever since a professional symphony had invited our class to accompany their performance of Saint-Saen’s “Carnival of the Animals” with original poetry and dance, Anthony had set his mind on being the elephant. After all, he reasoned, elephants are strong and mighty. They rule the animal world – and Anthony certainly wanted to rule third grade. But the parts for the performance would be chosen randomly from a hat.

He tried to make deals and bribe his fellow third-graders into giving him the part – to no avail. When we had a class discussion about the equal value of all animals, Anthony agreed in theory. But as sweet, quiet Esperanza stepped up to the hat, reached in, and chose the elephant, Anthony let out a moan and theatrically fell out of his chair.

Now it was his turn. As Anthony dragged himself to the hat, he rubbed his hands together and coaxed, “Come on, lion.” If he couldn’t have the elephant, at least he could chose something fast or strong. But when he read his pick, I knew the challenge for him and me had just increased exponentially.

Anthony was the swan. He couldn’t imagine an animal less mighty. Swans are gentle and elegant. Swans don’t rule anything. How could he possibly be a swan? He was crushed.

Once he recovered from the letdown, I knew deep down he could be a magnificent swan. But the recovery would have to come first, and I wasn’t quite sure how to help him.

The next day I showed him a video of “Swan Lake,” and we watched how the dancers moved with strength and ease. He saw the dancers jump high, like basketball players, and spin around several times without stopping. He thought maybe he could move like that. Maybe the swan wasn’t so bad after all. Maybe.

So I cajoled Anthony to practice jumping and twirling. He started to get into the spirit, adding a cartwheel to his choreography. He ran and leaped and flew through the air. Elephants couldn’t do that, I told him. Swans have something special that even elephants don’t have. Swans have grace.

Anthony always knew he could be strong and forceful, but suddenly he had discovered that he also had ease and grace. By the time the class performed with the symphony, Anthony had become a swan. And Esperanza, usually shy, had discovered her elephant power.

- By Lara Naughton

2008-04-22T21:01:00.000-07:00

I recently heard about the book “So you don’t want to go to church anymore” by Jack Colsen. You can read it here.

There was a part that just shook me and it has been echoing in my heart these past few days… (emphasis is mine own)

______________________________

My wife and I celebrated our 17th wedding anniversary by taking a three-day trip to Pismo Beach on the central California coast. On our way home on Saturday afternoon, we stopped in downtown San Luis Obispo for some lunch and shopping. This re-vitalized downtown area is a major draw for the whole community. On this sunny April day the streets were jammed.

After lunch we split up since our preferred browsing places are quite different. I went to loiter in the bookstores while she trolled the clothing stores and gift shops. Finishing before our scheduled rendezvous time, I had perched myself against the wall of a store while nursing a chocolate ice cream cone.

I couldn't help but notice the heated argument going on a few feet up the street on the curb in front of The Gap. Four college-aged students and two middle-aged men were holding bright blue handbills and gesturing wildly. I had seen the handbills earlier, tucked under windshield wipers and lying scattered in the gutter. It was an invitation to a play about the flames of hell being put on at one of the local churches.

"Who'd want to go to this second-rate production... ?"

"I'll never set foot in a church again..."

"Been there, done that, got the scars and ain't going back..."

In the few moments since I had begun my eavesdropping, I don't think any one of them actually finished a sentence. Another would interrupt as if they would burst from the pressure if they couldn't add their own venom

"Where do these arrogant people get off thinking they can judge me and..."

"I'd like to see what Jesus would think if he walked into one of these churches today..."

"I don't think he'd probably go, he seemed..."

"And if he did, he'd probably fall asleep."

Laughter drowned him out.

"Or maybe he'd die laughing..."

"Or crying," another voice offered which caused everyone to pause and think a moment.

"Do you think he'd wear a suit and...?"

"Only to hide the whip he'd sneak in to do a little house cleaning."

The increasing volume drew the attention of those passing by. Their pace would slow to try and figure out what the commotion was all about. Some drawn by the passion and intrigued by the assault on something as sacred as religion joined in like puppies at the food bowl. Still others hung around on the fringes to listen, some even asking me what was going on.

Now a full-fledged argument developed as some of the newcomers challenged the anti-church cynics. Accusations volleyed quickly in the crowd. Most of them I had heard before--complaints about extravagant facilities, hypocrites, boring sermons and burn out from too many meetings. Those that sought to defend the church had to admit some of these weaknesses did exist but tried to point out many good things churches have done.

That's when I noticed him. He could have been anywhere from late 30's to early 50's. It was difficult to tell. He was short, perhaps only 5'4"; with dark, wavy hair and an unkempt beard, both peppered with streaks of gray. In a faded green sweatshirt, jeans and running shoes, his rugged looks made me wonder if he was a holdover from the rebellious 60's; except that he wasn't shuffling by aimlessly.

In fact what had caught my eye was the determined purpose of his gait, moving directly toward the center of the rising argument. It seemed from some distance away he had picked out the crowd and now zeroed in on it walking slowly, his face as intense as a German Shepherd hearing an unfamiliar sound in the night. As he approached the crowd he seemed to melt into it. Within moments he emerged toward the center of the circle surveying the more vocal ones. When his eyes turned my direction, I was captured by their intensity. They were deep--and alive! I was riveted on him. He seemed to know something no one else did.

By this time the debate had turned hostile. Those who had attacked the church had turned their anger toward Jesus himself, mocking him as an impostor. As intended, that only made the church go-ers in the group even more livid. "Wait until you have to look in his face as you sink into hell!" I thought the combatants were going to start swinging at each other when the stranger floated his question into the crowd.

"You really have no idea what Jesus was like, do you?"

The words slipped off the man's lips as gently as the breeze wafted through the trees overhead and in stark contrast to the heated argument that swirled around him. They were so softly spoken that I read them on his lips as much as heard what he said. But their impact was not lost on the crowd. The noisy clamor subsided quickly as tension-filled faces gave way to puzzled expressions. "Who said that?" was the unspoken question that filled the eyes of each one as they scanned the others around them.

I chuckled under my breath because no one was looking at the man who had just spoken. For one thing, he was so short that it was easy to pass over him. But I had been watching him and the crowd for the last few moments intrigued by his demeanor.
As people were glancing around he spoke again into the silence. "Do you have any idea what he was like?"

This time all eyes turned downward toward the voice and were surprised to see the man who'd spoken them. Where had he come from? What does he know about it? The unspoken questions reverberated in the tense silence.

"What do you know about it, old man?" One of them finally spoke up, his mockery dripping off of each word until the disapproving gaze of the crowd silenced him. He laughed it off and looked away embarrassed, grateful that their eyes had swung back to the stranger. But he was in no hurry to speak. The resulting silence hung in the air, far beyond the point of awkwardness. A few nervous glances and shrugs shot throughout the crowd, but no one spoke and no one left. During this time the man scanned the crowd pausing to hold each person's gaze for a brief second. When he caught my eye, everything inside seemed to melt. I looked away instantly. After a few moments I glanced back, hoping he was no longer looking my direction.

After what seemed an insufferably long time he spoke again. His first words were whispered directly at the man who had threatened the others with hell. "You really have no idea what motivates you, do you?" His tone was one of sorrow, almost entreating. There was not a trace of anger in it. Embarrassed, the man threw his hands up and twisted his lips as if he didn't understand the question. Which was all he could think to do with everyone looking at him.

The stranger let him twist in the gaze of the crowd briefly, then looking around the circle he began to speak again, his words flowing softly and sweetly. "He was nothing special to look at. He could walk down this street today and not one of you would even notice him. In fact he had the kind of face you would shy away from, certain he wouldn't fit in with your crowd.

"But he was as gentle a man as one would ever know. He could silence detractors without ever raising his voice. He never bullied his way; never drew attention to himself nor did he ever pretend to like what vexed his soul. He was real, to the very core of his being.

"And at the core of that being was love." The stranger paused and shook his head. "Wow! Did he love!" His eyes looked far past the crowd now, seeming to peer across the depths of time not space. "We didn't even know what love was, until we saw it in him. It was everyone, too, even those who hated him, who wouldn't extend to him the simplest of courtesies. He still cared for them, hoping somehow they would find a way out of their self-inflicted souls to recognize who stood among them."

"And with all that love, he was completely honest. Yet even when his actions or words exposed people's darkest motives, they didn't feel shamed. They felt safe with him. His words conveyed not even a hint of judgment, simply an entreaty to come to God and be freed by him. There was no one you would trust more quickly with your deepest secrets. If someone were going to catch you at your worst moments you'd want it to be him.

"He wasted no time mocking others, nor their religious trappings." He glanced at those who had just done so. "If he had something to say to them, he'd say it and move on and you would know you'd been loved more than anyone had ever loved you before." Here the man stopped, his eyes closed and mouth clenched as if choking back tears that would melt him in an instant if he gave in to them.

"I'm not talking about mamby-pamby sentimentalism either. He loved, really loved. It didn't matter if you were Pharisee or prostitute, disciple or blind beggar, Jew, Samaritan or Gentile. His love held itself out for any to embrace. Most did, too, when they saw him. Though so few ended up following him for those few moments his presence passed through their life, they tasted something they could never deny even years later. Somehow he seemed to know everything about you, but loved deeply all that was true about who he made you to be."

He paused and scanned the crowd. In the last couple of moments perhaps as many as 30 people had stopped to listen, their gaze firmly on the man and their mouths suspended open in bewilderment. I can record his words here, but am bereft of an adequate description of their impact. No one within earshot could deny their power or their authenticity. They rang from the very depths of this man's soul.

"And when he hung there from that filthy cross," the man's eyes looked up into the trees that towered over us, "that love still poured down--on mocker and disillusioned friend alike. As he approached the dark chamber of death, wearied by his battle with sin, there was no finer moment in all the world. His anguish became the conduit for his life to be given to you. This was no madman. This was God's Son, poured out to the last breath, so that we could live free."

“So you don’t want to go to church anymore”
- Jack Colsen

Thank Him

2008-03-24T23:08:00.000-07:00

Most of you already know,

I'm going to Switzerland!

I will be leaving in three months and it all seems so unreal...

A while back I read on Ann's blog about blessings. I have been thinking on how little time I have left in this season of my life. Who knows what will happen after those six months I am gone... Things will never again be as they are now.

So I want to remember.

I want to praise Him for who He is to me. In this moment.

For the gifts of His love that surround me. For these precious few days I have left.

I will praise His beauty in the now.

God, awaken the eyes of my heart to see the beauty, the good, the pure, the lovely, and the right. I will see You.

"Those who look to Him are radiant, their faces are never covered with shame." Psalm 34:5

Hope

2008-03-05T21:33:00.001-08:00

Beginning to see.

Hope means hoping when things are hopeless, or it is no virtue at all... As long as matters are really hopeful, hope is mere flattery or platitude; it is only when everything is hopeless that hope begins to be a strength.

- Gilbert Keith G. K. Chesterton

Sleep Walking

2008-03-03T21:23:00.000-08:00

Watch for rocks.
The signs
repeat our fears.
The weight
crashing down
upon these
worlds
we make
in our minds.
Upon
the beauty
the glory
that swirls
in our hearts.

A thousand
little pieces
shimmer
bleeding
this great
disaster
how and why
Who am I?
No. Who are YOU.

We take them
We tape them
We put them away.
Tomorrow
In the morning
Maybe someday.
Living these
falling petals.

Grace sufficient
we wait
Healing and mercy
we wait
Come to Me
He cries
and we wait.
Now come to Me
still we wait.

Wake up, oh sleeper
arise.
Forerunning the morning
they smile.
sweet children of Abba
precious ones

take off the world
as a garment
gather the broken
slivers of life
the tears drops
that pained you to numbness
let My hand restore
My breath of love
make whole.

Come to Me.

I Am LIFE.

There is NO other.

"He is already here. Present in this heart. Always faithful. Always near. Never does He forsake us. It is not a matter of Him coming to us. For He already did. He came into our world. Resurrection Life. Gifts of His indwelling love, Forever, breathed into the heart of man. The Spirit of Truth ever with us. It is a matter of us coming to Him. Opening the doors and letting Love in. For God is Love."

They awaken.
These eyes
deep within.
Rising from
slumber.
To realize
His glory
To praise
the Infinite
the Ancient

My Abba Father.

"But you recieved the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children."

Romans 8:15-16

I will lift my eyes.

Waking the Dead

2008-02-24T20:37:00.001-08:00

And listen to the way he talks about us: "You shine like the stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life" (Phil. 2:15-16). As Shawn Mullins sings, "we're born to shimmer, we're born to shine." You are supposed to shimmer. "Let your light shine before men" (Matt. 5:16). All this groveling and self-depreciation done by Christians is often shame masquerading as humility. Shame says, "I'm nothing to look at. I'm not capable of goodness." Humility says, "I bear a glory for sure, but it is a reflected glory. A grace given to me." Your story does not begin with sin. It begins with a glory bestowed upon you by God. It does not start in Genesis 3; it starts in Genesis 1. First things first, as they say.

Certainly, you will admit that God is glorious. Is there anyone more kind? Is there anyone more creative? Is there anyone more valiant? Is there anyone more true? Is there anyone more daring? Is there anyone more beautiful? Is there anyone more wise? Is there anyone more generous? You are his offspring. His child. His reflection. His likeness. You bear his image. Do you remember that though he made the heavens and the earth in all their glory, the desert and the open sea, the meadow and the Milky Way, and said, "It is good," it was only after he made you that he said, "It is very good" (Gen 1:31). Think of it: your original glory was greater than anything that's ever taken your breath away in nature.

As for the saints who are in the land, they are the glorious ones in whom is all my delight.

Psalm 16: 3

God endowed you with a glory when he created you, a glory so deep and mythic that all creation pales in comparison. A glory unique to you, just as your fingerprints are unique to you, just as the way you laugh is unique to you. Somewhere deep down inside we've been looking for that glory ever since. A man wants to know that he is truly a man, that he could be brave; he longs to know that he is a warrior; and all his life he wonders, " Have I got what it takes?" A women wants to know that she is truly a woman, that she is beautiful; she longs to know that she is captivating; and all her life she wonders, "Do I have a beauty to offer?" The poet Yeats wrote,

If I make the lashes dark

And the eyes more bright

And the lips more scarlet

Or ask if all be right

From mirror to mirror

No vanity's displayed;

I'm looking for the face I had

Before the world was made.

("Before the world was made" from the poem "A Woman Young and Old")

Yes, that's it. When you take a second glance in the mirror, when you pause to look again at a photograph, you are looking for a glory you know you were meant to have, if only because you know you long to have it. You remember faintly that you were once more than what you have become. Your story didn't start with sin, and thank God, it does not end with sin. It ends with glory restored: "Those he justified, he also glorified" (Rom. 8:30).

And "in the meantime," you have been transformed, and you are being transformed. You've been given a new heart. Now God is restoring your glory. He is bringing you fully alive. Because the glory of God is you fully alive.

(An excerpt from Waking the Dead, by John Eldredge)

Inquire

2008-02-12T21:41:00.000-08:00

Do you ever feel
like you're on the outside
looking in
at everything around you?

With the waves
I rock back and forth
my tongue moves
with a language I do not know
I cry to my God.

Wake up, wake up
oh, my soul.
These fears crush
every beat of my heart
and I wait
without words.

Stepping into the unknown
Behold
You are near.

God?
Where am I?

The heart is such
a fragile thing
It acts on its own
sometimes.

Where have you gone?
Why do you hide?

When there is no beauty in the day
when the weary, worn and broken
rises to the surface
you shake and shiver
you run away...

But I thought all was well
you say
the day was lovely
the birds were sweet in song

Now the night comes again
and the day seems
a faded dream
and my heart, was it numb?

You sigh closing weary eyes
for all efforts seemed to have failed
or is there still hope that
calls you to unveil your eyes?

What if you could still chose?
What if the day was not yet over?
And I tell you now
You can
and it's not.

Now what will you do?

Abba, Father, you are Beautiful Hope.
You are the only Constant.
The only thing in all my grasping
that does not slip like the wind through
these fingers...
Teach me, oh God
to feel again
the very beating of Your Heart
Your word is a Lamp unto
my feet
and a Light unto
my path
I shall not fear
for You are with me.
Always.
Draw me out
from the place
I hide away.

And glorify Your name.

Dwelling in Him

2008-02-04T13:59:00.000-08:00

For some time now
My heart has ached.

Aching for me
and for every other
living, breathing
rushing and running
man, woman and child.

I haven't been able to
put it into words.

I was sitting in my car
silently watching
the cars race by
one hundred lives
one hundred stories
one hundred hearts.

Rushing,
Running,
Breathing,
but not really
Living.

Slow
down
softly.

Let it go.

So how do we live
in that place of peace

and rest
In a world that is not so.

"I have told you these things
so that in me you may have peace.
In this world you will have trouble.
But take heart!
I have overcome the world."

- Jesus

Beautiful stillness
spreads warmth deep within

the Word of God.

Eternal.

dripping on this surface
with constancy

ripples form
the vibration hums

teach me
the music of peace.
the melody of rest.

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

- Psalm 91:1

This post speaks the words I cannot,
and stirs my heart with truth, be blessed.

This Eternal Heart

2008-01-26T11:21:00.000-08:00

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed... Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

2 Corinthians 4:8, 9, 16-18

Changing our Focus

2008-01-16T22:56:00.000-08:00

"mercy. coming home."

(http://www.onamercyship.com/blog.html)

I write this 35,000 feet above the North Sea, somewhere between London and Berlin. The sun sets behind our Airbus, highlighting an endless blanket of cumulous in pink and gold and blue. It will change color and fade to gray and black before I finish.

After only a week and a half in London, I already miss West Africa.

Speaking engagements and forward planning have kept me too busy to reflect and process, to write. Yet here, on a tray table high above the clouds I'll try. A place closer to heaven than not, disconnected from both both developed and developing worlds.

London's never been cheap for Americans - even New Yorkers, but in contrast to Liberia, it seems profane. Dinner last night with two friends at a bustling but ordinary brasserie in Notting Hill cost $336 - the bill graciously grabbed with a wink as I smiled and offered the tip. To a bar afterwards for $14 cocktails.

Comparisons.

Are they helpful? Can they somehow bridge the growing gap between rich and poor?

Just weeks ago in Monrovia I stopped in on Beatrice, a forty-something woman who almost suffocated to death after almost 20 years with a benign tumor before receiving free surgery on the Mercy Ship. I'd previously been able to help her with "small money" that got her off a concrete floor onto a simple mattress and put mosquito netting around said mattress.

Beatrice asked me about her roof. The rainy season was quickly approaching, the recent torrential downpours leaving us with no doubt about the well-known fact that Liberia gets more rain than anywhere else on the planet.

Beatrice's roof was leaking, and she asked me in simple, broken English to help. I have to admit, I'm ashamed of my first reaction. Having little money myself, I wasn't sure I'd be able to help her more. And then she told me how much.

$20 US.

I bought four long sheets of zinc to cover the large room and stopped the rain from coming in.

Perhaps that's what I'll miss the most these coming days as I try to preach the poor at home with my pictures and stories. It's selfish, maybe, but the stakes are so high in the developing world. Simple acts of personal intervention, little sacrifices can so drastically and visibly change lives.

I'll miss buying the $22 bag of rice that feeds a family of 4 for more than a month. I'll miss paying a landlord $120 for a year to move a mother and her two previously blind children out of a refugee camp and into a home.

I'll miss taking a patient to the dentist where $60 replaces 8 teeth stolen by a tumor and creates a brilliant smile. I'll miss so easily spending $55 to put a boy through school. A boy burned by rebel soldiers, healed by doctors who took a break from their lives and released an arm fused to his side so that he could write.

It's intoxicating, addicting. And I think we need to be doing more of it

I'm 30 years old now, and if you'd asked me a few years ago over a plate of cocaine what I'd be doing today, the answer definitely wouldn't have been "trying to save the world."

Charles Bukowski, a writer who would certainly have appreciated the previous reference, said: "You begin saving the world by saving one person at a time; all else is grandiose romanticism or politics.”

Granted, certainly not an original idea. In fact, terribly cliché even.

Mother Teresa said "if you can't feed a hundred, feed one." And what about the proverbial kid walking on a beach next to thousands of starfish dying in the sun, confronted with the enormity, the futility of his task. As he tossed them into the surf one by one, he said, "well it made a difference to that one."

I think if I've learned anything in this past year and a half in Africa, it's the power of that idea.

And I think what I'm after in the coming years as I try to walk between both worlds - developing and the developed - to bring Beatrice and Alfred and Marthaline and Harris closer to South Kensington and the Meatpacking District. It's really a strong notion - that of the lost sheep, the lost coin, the prodigal son. That they matter, that they can be found, saved. That they can speak to larger change.

That individual acts of mercy, of compassion can change countries, continents. Peoples.

I'm sold.

More from New York City in the coming weeks about where I hope to take mercy. over the next decade.

I'll need your help.

- Scott Harrison

Drowning in Love's Constancy

2008-01-15T15:11:00.000-08:00

When I said, "My foot is slipping" Your love, O Lord, supported me.

When anxiety was great within me,

Your consolation brought joy to my soul.

Psalm 94:18-19

There are so many different ways of being healed. The best way, and by far the commonest, is to be loved. To be loved by God, and to know it and live it, is to be healed indeed. The Good News first of all is that you and I are accepted and loved by God. From all eternity you and I have been in the mind of God. God's love for us is utterly reliable and has no conditions whatsoever.

- Cyril Brooks

In the Night

2008-01-11T23:11:00.000-08:00

fresh air

the quiet night

walking in the dark.

what is it about the stars that makes you feel so small?

the dirt under your feet that makes you feel so free?

what lies before is unseen

the dark is all around

only the the stars

Remain.

And yet

I feel

So safe.

You are glorious.

You are the Artist of the Sky.

Thank you.

How can one not believe?

Integrity

2008-01-10T21:35:00.000-08:00

"Many do not advance in Christian progress because they stick in penances and particular exercises while they neglect the love of God which is the end. This appeared plainly by their works and was the reason why we see so little solid virtue. There need neither art nor science for going to God, but only a heart resolutely determined to apply itself to nothing but Him and to love Him only." - Brother Lawrence

God let our words, our responses and our interactions with others reflect the pure love of You. That we would seek to have established within us solid virtue. That only comes by a willing heart responding to Your hands of grace. Lord your ways are not our ways. Let us not limit the ways in which you establish character within. Through every circumstance let us walk in love, by Your strength and for Your glory.

"True character is a heart that faithfully responds to all things in love."

It is our constant choice.